A Story of Boy Meets Girl
by filmfanatic-29
Summary: AU. Ben Wyatt is a jaded state auditor who leads a simple, lonely existence. When he meets a passionate woman named Leslie, he begins to reevaluate what he actually wants out of life. These two broken individuals slowly heal each other but both are still haunted by the ghosts of their pasts.
1. First Day Blues

**Author's Note: New story! Haha hopefully you guys aren't sick of my writing yet. I have a vague idea where I'm going with this, but nothing is set in stone so this should be an interesting journey. Also, because this story isn't really planned out, updates may take a while: just a warning! This story is AU but I am going to incorporate various elements from the show. This chapter sort of follows 2x23 "The Master Plan" but I will stray more from canon as this story goes on. Constructive criticism is appreciated but please no flames. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Parks and Recreation in any way; I'm just a fan**

Chapter One: First Day Blues

"Pawnee is LITERALLY the most beautiful city I've ever seen!" Chris declared enthusiastically and Ben barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It was the same routine in each new place and quite frankly he was getting sick of it. In actuality, Pawnee was _not_ the most beautiful city Ben had ever seen; it looked exactly like the other dozen or so they had previously visited. There were plain houses, manicured lawns, small stores, and overall it seemed like a nice place. It had that "Americana suburbia" appeal but it wasn't anything special.

"Don't you agree, Ben? Isn't this the loveliest city you've ever laid your eyes upon?" The man in question gave a half hearted nod; it was easier to placate his friend than it was to disagree. Ben genuinely liked Chris but at times he was sorely tempted to punch his friend.

The pair had arrived in Pawnee the night before and they were driving to City Hall to start work. Ben had familiarized himself with the city's budget reports before they got to Pawnee and he saw that it was in serious economic distress. No doubt layoffs and budget cuts would be necessary and Ben really wasn't looking forward to delivering the unhappy news. He supposed that there were some evils that couldn't be avoided.

They reached City Hall at quarter to eight and Chris affectionately clapped Ben on the shoulder; he always did that before they started work in a new city.

"We're going to have a wonderful day while we help Pawnee!" Chris said cheerfully but Ben knew the truth. _Chris_ was going to have a fantastic day while he dealt with highly emotional and angry government employees. However, Ben was willing to handle volatile workers if it meant that he actually helped a city. His job was often stressful and frustrating, but it was also incredibly rewarding. He liked knowing that even if people hated him for it, he had given a city a fresh new start.

"I'm sure we will," Ben replied, trying to humor him, and smiled. Chris returned the grin and then they entered City Hall. Their first appointment was with the mayor so they headed towards his office. The secretary, a middle aged woman with auburn hair, nervously stared at them while they waited. Ben didn't mind; he was used to it. The meeting went surprisingly well and he was relieved. The mayor understood that dramatic change would occur in the upcoming weeks and seemed to accept their presence. Ben was relieved that he and Chris had at least some support.

When they were done, the duo started to meet with all of the departments. They wasted no time in their mission and Ben and Chris stuck to their normal practice. They worked well together; Chris softened the blow by being exceptionally charming and positive, while Ben calmly delivered the hard, gritty facts. There was a wide assortment of reactions. Some had seen the writing on wall and were prepared for the news, so they were easier to handle. Others had been blindsided and were stunned or hysterical. It was tough for Ben to watch the responses; he wanted to offer comfort but he couldn't lie to them either. Ben didn't _want _to lay off people or create hardship, but sometimes those were necessary actions to save a city's finances. He didn't CAUSE the problems; he merely tried to find a solution.

By three o'clock in the afternoon Ben was exhausted and his head throbbed painfully. The first day was always the hardest; people tended to be upset, belligerent, and often they shouted verbal abuse. It was _draining _and all he wanted to do was curl up in bed until sleep overtook him. Their last department for the day was Parks and Recreation and Ben was relieved. He was eager to finish up, grab an early dinner, and take the rest of the night to just relax. Ben and Chris entered the department, gathered the employees, and then Chris started his spiel. Ben stood in the background and took a moment to quietly evaluate the employees of the Parks and Recreation department. It was a small group, which wasn't that surprising, and they all looked at them in wide eyed trepidation.

As he was taking in the group, Ben noticed a blond haired woman standing in the center of the group. She really was quite pretty, with vivid cornflower blue eyes, full lips, and smooth skin. Her hair was in soft curls and her outfit showed off her slim figure. His eyes involuntarily trailed over her form and his stomach dropped when he spotted the glint of a gold wedding band on her left hand. Ben was oddly disappointed to learn that she was married but brushed aside the feeling. He was being ridiculous. He was startled when he realized that Chris was almost done his speech; Ben had completely lost himself for a moment. When the other man finished and left, he took control of the meeting.

"Thank you everyone for your cooperation. Chris has some other meetings to attend to so if it is convenient I would like to see the Director and Deputy Director in the conference room." The blond woman and middle aged mustached man glanced at each other before stepping in front of the group.

"Hi, I'm Leslie Sanderson, the Deputy Director, and this is Ron Swanson, the Director," the woman introduced happily. Ben thought it was odd that the Director wasn't taking charge of the meeting but he supposed it didn't matter.

"It's nice to meet you both but we have a lot to discuss." Her expression fell slightly at his tone and she stiffened. For some reason Ben felt guilty at the sight and he tried to give her a reassuring smile. It didn't work; he could tell that she was extremely nervous. The three entered the large conference room and settled around the wooden table. Ben silently began perusing the financial statements of the department while Leslie tapped her fingers on the desk and Ron calmly relaxed in his chair.

"I wanted to talk to you both today because we need to make some serious economic cuts," Ben said bluntly. "Each department needs to make drastic changes and I would like to hear your suggestions." The two stared at him for a moment in silence before Ron leant across the table to give him a hearty handshake.

"Good for you son!" Ron said and his moustache twitched gleefully.

"Chris said we only had to undergo light tweaking," Leslie mentioned feebly.

"Because that's nicer to hear than we have to gut the budget," Ben answered wearily. The older man giggled merrily at his response and the blond's mouth dropped open.

"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be honest," he continued. "Pawnee is in serious trouble and that means that in the upcoming weeks everyone will have to make some difficult decisions."

"I'm very pleased to hear this," Ron said, a self satisfied smirk on his face, and Ben furrowed his brow in confusion. He had seen a lot of different responses but he had never met someone who was actually delighted about budget cuts.

"Anyway, I think it's clear that an employee needs to be laid off. Hmmm….a prime candidate is a man named Jerry Gergich." He looked towards both of them and waited for their reactions.

"No! Absolutely not! There has to be another way!" she protested. "We don't have to start cutting jobs!"

"I'm afraid we don't have a choice," Ben responded.

"I'm not going to start laying off our entire staff," Leslie huffed.

"I'm not suggesting that," Ben countered sardonically. Why did everyone automatically blow everything out of proportion? "Although it may be necessary to lay off certain employees. I know that this is hard but every department has to do this. I'm not the bad guy here; I'm actually trying to help."

"You may have the best intentions in the world, but people's lives are going to be destroyed because of you. How do you live with yourself?" She glared at him, accusation clear in her eyes, and Ben couldn't look away. He was trapped in her gaze and Leslie's cheeks flushed angrily.

"Leslie," Ron murmured softly. The blond broke the connection to look at the other man and she sighed.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I shouldn't have said that. But I refuse to lay of Jerry because he is a vital employee of the Parks and Recreation department." Leslie's chin was jutted out, silently challenging him, and the sight made him angry.

"I didn't cause these problems," Ben said stiffly, trying to mask his annoyance. He was sick of hearing that Pawnee's financial troubles were his fault. "But I WILL fix them. It's my job and I expect your full cooperation."

"Please," she begged. "These are _good _people. I've lived here my entire life and this department has become my family. You can't fire them! I know that you're new to Pawnee but this town is special.

"No it's not." Ben regretted the words the instant they left his mouth. Leslie stared at him, eyes wide with shock and hurt, and he cringed. Ben knew that he was being an ass and he wanted to apologize and promise that everything would be fine. But the words caught in his throat and he found himself standing up.

"There's a lot of work to be done and you need to be prepared. I'll be in touch soon to discuss further decisions regarding the Parks and Recreation department," he said and he left the office without another word.

_XxXx_

Ben already hated the Pawnee Super Suites Motel. It was run down, cramped, and the room temperature apparently liked to randomly change. Everything about it was uncomfortable, but Ben figured that he could put up with it for a couple of weeks. They weren't going to be in Pawnee for too long and perhaps their next accommodations would be a little more comfortable.

He tried to read _A Clash of Kings_ for a while but he couldn't concentrate. His mind kept wandering to Leslie Sanderson and her passionate plea to spare her department. She was…interesting. He had never met someone with such an intense, direct gaze and truth be told it had been rather unsettling. A sharp knock on his door broke Ben's train of thoughts. He placed the book on the small nightstand and went to the door and looked through the peephole. Chris's smiling face looked back at him and Ben reluctantly opened the door.

"Hello Ben! I came over because I was informed that there is a lively club called the Snakehole Lounge where all the locals go to hang out. I was planning on going there tonight and thought you should tag along. It is the perfect opportunity to become acquainted with the people of Pawnee," Chris said as he stepped into the room.

"Not interested," Ben immediately replied. As much as he disliked his room, he knew that he would hate a crowded club even more. Chris pouted at his response.

"Nonsense, Benjamin! It's too beautiful a night to sit in your hotel room and do nothing! Let's go out!"

"Seriously, I'm not in the mood. Thanks for the offer but I don't feel like going," Ben said resignedly. Chris sighed and shook his head mournfully. "Ben, you're LITERALLY one of the best men I've ever met, but you're holding yourself back. Don't be afraid of making connections with other people; it'll be good for you. If you change your mind, I'll be at the club." The other man gave him a wistful smile and left. Ben knew that his friend was trying to help him but he didn't need it. He was doing okay and there was nothing wrong with that. Ben flopped onto the bed and mindlessly flipped through channels. There wasn't anything good on but he didn't care. After a while, he fell into a fitful sleep.

_XxXx_

Ben blearily woke up at six in the morning and stumbled towards the bathroom. His body felt strange, as if was out of sync or something, and Ben didn't like it. He didn't know what was going on with him. First days were usually tough but generally he could handle them. Something about Pawnee was throwing him off of his game. A pair of blue eyes flashed in his mind but he ignored the thought. Ben took a shower and relaxed under the spray of the hot water. Today would be better; this job was just like every other and he would do whatever he had to. When Ben was done, he got dressed and went to Chris's room. It didn't take long for the other man to get ready and the pair headed to work.

Ben entered his office but stopped in his tracks when he noticed a white Styrofoam box waiting for him on his desk. What on earth? Curious, he slowly approached his desk and opened the container. There were two large golden waffles and a small note inside and Ben gawked at the contents. Who got him waffles? Chris didn't have a chance and he was sure no one else would want to treat him to breakfast. Ben picked up the scrap of paper and quickly read the note.

_I know you don't think Pawnee is special, but you're wrong, and I'm going to prove it. Be prepared ;)_

~_Leslie Sanderson_

**Just some small points: 1) Leslie's last name isn't a typo; there's a reason it's Sanderson, 2) the book Ben is reading is the second book in the series A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin. I'm sort of excited about this story so I hope you guys like it! Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	2. Childish Antics

**Author's Note: UGHHHH it has been way too long since I updated this story! I'm so ashamed… Sorry for the wait! I had a lot of trouble with this chapter; I couldn't get into character and I wasn't sure how closely I wanted to stick to canon. Plus, writer's block is a HUGE pain in my ass. I guess I should have thought more about the direction I wanted to take this story before I started it. I'm still not fully satisfied, but I wanted to post something, so I decided to put it up anyway. Oh well, once again, I'm sorry for the long wait! Hopefully the next chapter will be up quicker. Also, Parks and Recreation is FINALLY back! What did everyone think of the season 5 premiere?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Parks and Recreation in any way; I'm just a simple fan. **

Chapter Two: Childish Antics

Ben stared at the Styrofoam container for a couple of minutes, slightly dazed by the audacity of the message, before stomping over to the Deputy Director's office for a little chat. Frustration was bubbling up but he tried to control his anger; he doubted that she was trying to irritate him on purpose. Leslie didn't seem like a mean person, quite the opposite in fact, but she was now interfering with his work. He wouldn't, _couldn't_,tolerate that.

Ben ignored the other members of the Parks and Recreation department and purposefully stormed into Leslie's office. The blond was sitting down at her desk, working on something on her computer, but she lazily glanced up when he entered the room. She didn't seem that surprised; Ben figured that she knew her little ploy would incur some sort of reaction.

"Hi, what can I help you with?" Leslie asked politely, her big blue eyes wide and innocent, and she gestured for him to sit down.

"Waffles aren't going to fix Pawnee," Ben said bluntly and he remained standing. He wanted to be authoritative and slightly intimidating, but based on the way that she was smiling sweetly at him, he doubted that he succeeded.

She quirked an eyebrow and smirked at him, all innocence forgotten. "Well, obviously you didn't eat the waffles I gave you, because J.J's waffles fix everything," Leslie replied playfully and Ben frowned at her. The response was teasing, but he could read between the lines: _you're wrong and you don't understand MY town. _

"Thanks, but I don't want them," he answered stiffly. Ben held out the box but she pouted at him and purposefully crossed her arms in defiance. Why was she doing this? Was she trying to mess with him? Her behavior was irritating and childish, and it felt as if she was toying with him.

Ben decisively threw the box out and felt a small twinge of guilt when he saw pain flash across her face. He tried to shake the feeling away but it stayed with him. He wasn't normally this mean, Ben always prided himself on being able to rise above things, but something about Leslie set his teeth on edge.

"This isn't a game," Ben said coldly but Leslie ignored his tone. She was sitting straight up, her eyes bright with defiance, and he realized that throwing out the waffles had been like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

"I know it's not," she conceded. "But all you're seeing when you look at Pawnee are lists and numbers. I want you to see the _real_ Pawnee and the people who make it a special place."

"The real Pawnee? Are you really this delusional?" Ben scoffed and Leslie's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Have you watched too many Frank Capra movies?"

"Who doesn't love Frank Capra?" she asked in an offended voice. "He was a visionary who was dedicated in instilling true American ideals and-" Leslie paused and huffed angrily.

"I'm not doing this! You're not sucking me into whatever game you're playing!" She sprang to her feet and scowled at him.

"Me?" Ben yelped. "I'm not playing a game! You're the one leaving waffles on my desk!"

"I'm only doing that to show you what Pawnee is really like, but apparently you're Voldemort and you can't emotionally connect to real people! You know what? You, sir, are an ass!" Leslie instantly bit back. "I'm not trying to mess with you! I'm trying to show you that believing in something doesn't make me an idiot! Believing in Pawnee isn't stupid! It's called faith!" Their faces were mere inches apart, brown eyes focused on blue, and the silence was overwhelming. It had been so long since he had met anyone with so much _fire, _strength, and fortitude.

Ben suddenly became aware of their close proximity and he instantly pulled away. His body was humming with frustration, adrenaline, and confusion, and he didn't know what to do. Leslie wasn't anything special, so why was she affecting him so much? Why was she clouding his judgment? Something must have shifted in his gaze because Leslie seemed to calm down.

"Why do you have to be so cold?" She asked him softly. Her tone was contemplative, but she didn't seem to expect an answer, and Ben remained quiet. "You seem like such a jerk, but then you get this look…What on earth happened to you?" Leslie leaned back in her chair and stared at him in puzzlement. The directness of it made his skin crawl and Ben self consciously adjusted his clothes. Normally he was calm and composed, but the tiny blond unnerved him. Ben didn't know how to talk to the aggravating woman standing in front of him, so he turned on his heel and left. He heard Leslie make a noise of protest but he continued walking away. It was a coward's move but Ben had never had so much trouble with an employee and leaving the situation seemed like the only option.

_XxXx_

After the embarrassing incident, Ben was determined to ignore Leslie; he would simply refuse to participate in her childish antics. He thought about involving Chris in the matter but Ben decided against it. His partner was fairly useless and most likely would find Leslie's actions "charming", which was obviously ridiculous. He hoped that after a while she would get bored and give up, but Ben quickly learned that Leslie was a force to be reckoned with. The Deputy Director was stubborn, persistent, and a complete pain in the ass. She left waffles on his desk every day for two weeks, usually with a small note, and was as determined as ever to 'convert' him. Ben never ate them; he knew that if he took even one bite of them he would be encouraging her, so he usually ended up giving the food away. Leslie didn't mentioned the breakfasts, he doubted that anyone else knew what she was doing, but every once in a while he would see a knowing smile on her face. It irked him to no end, but he didn't say anything.

Leslie eventually managed to push her way in and invade his life. She popped up ALL the time and Ben couldn't keep up with her. He didn't know if she stalked him or if she just had incredibly good timing, but he saw her bright smile everywhere he went. In fact, if Ben tried to avoid her, she seemed even more determined to interfere with his day. She would pop into his office, coffee in hand, and Leslie would recount Pawnee's long and involved history. She even gave full biographies of every citizen who ever lived there; Ben was pretty sure that he knew more about Pawnee than most of the other residents. Leslie's descriptions were VERY thorough.

And so an odd pattern was formed. Leslie would aggravate Ben, he would try to ignore her, and they would squabble about work. Once in a while their conversations would stray from politics in Pawnee and they would debate who the best Senator was and who wrote the greatest American novels.

Surprisingly, he was slowly becoming accustomed to life in the small town. The more Ben learned about Pawnee, the more he realized exactly how WEIRD the town was; it was certifiably crazy. Still, it was intriguing and spirited and just...fascinating. He tried to push those dangerous thoughts out of his head and Ben pretended that he wasn't getting used to the quirky town.

_XxXx_

"You haven't called in weeks!" His mother's tone was accusatory and Ben sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry. Work has been crazy and I haven't really had a chance. We're at this place called Pawnee and it's in really bad shape. I've had a lot of paperwork lately," he explained patiently. Ben took off his tie and settled on the bed, stretching his limbs across the mattress.

"Alright then," Jean Wyatt replied, slightly mollified by his answer, but he could tell that she was still upset. Ben felt bad for causing her to worry and he mentally reminded himself to call more often. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm being silly. You know that I worry; it's been so long since we've talked! I just want to make sure that you're doing alright."

"I'm fine," Ben responded. "Chris and I have just been really busy."

"Don't work _too _hard dear. After all, you know how you are when you're stressed. Are you eating enough?"

"Yes," Ben answered and he rolled his eyes; his mother tended to forgot that he was a grown man who was fully capable of taking care of himself. "Anyway, how are you and Dad?"

"We're doing okay," she sighed. "Your father has been in one of his moods but that's to be expected, considering…well, you know. He's trying and that's the important part. It's coming up in a couple of weeks. You're coming home, right? I know that he'll be glad to see you." Ben bit his lip and steeled himself for the unpleasant reaction.

"I can't Mom." The words tasted bitter in his mouth and guilt gnawed on him, making his stomach twist uncomfortably.

"What?"

"I think I have to stay in Pawnee for a while; I can't make it home." The silence on the other end was deafening and Ben hated every second of it.

"Oh," Jean said in a small voice. "Oh alright, I understand Ben. Don't worry about us; you just take care of yourself." That was a lie of course. They could never handle this time of year; there were too many terrible memories, too many unresolved emotions.

"I am sorry," Ben said sincerely. "You know that I want to be with you both."

"It's alright," Jean replied. She cleared her throat and quickly switched topics, obviously desperate to talk about happier things. Ben ached to discuss their situation but he held his tongue; he didn't need that explosive conversation tonight.

"How is…what was it called? Pawnee?" Jean eventually asked.

"It's…" Ben tried to figure out how to explain the small town, but he simply couldn't. Pawnee was strange to live in and even stranger to describe. Every word choice seemed inappropriate or inaccurate. It was common yet different, intriguing but boring, a strange combination of good and bad.

"It's interesting," he settled on.

"Did you meet anyone interesting?" A brief image of Leslie flashed in his mind but he dismissed the thought.

"Not really."

_XxXx_

"Pawnee is in worse condition than originally thought," Chris said seriously. Ben tiredly rubbed his eyes and nodded in agreement. He had known for a while that things were pretty serious. Ben studied Pawnee's records before they arrived, but closer examination showed just how much trouble Pawnee was in. This wasn't going to be an easy job; they would be here for at least a couple of months. The thought of being stuck in the crazy town was unpleasant, _not appealing he reminded himself_, but there wasn't anything he could do.

"I know," Ben replied simply. "When do you want to announce the news?"

"I believe that tomorrow would be a good opportunity," Chris noted. "It will allow us to work the rest of the summer on reestablishing the government." The next day, Chris and Ben began to quietly meet with all of the department Directors to explain the situation. Most of them were stunned but overall they handled it well. Ben knew that the Department which would take the news hardest would be Parks and Recreation; his stomach clenched in uneasiness. After Leslie's efforts to 'save' Pawnee, she would be devastated to hear that the government would be shut down. She seemed to live and breathe her job, and he knew exactly how hard she would take the news.

When it came time for the meeting with Ron and Leslie, Ben could barely look them in the eye. Chris still seemed happy, as if he was completely impervious to the tension, and motioned for Ben to deliver the unpleasant news.

"Effective tomorrow morning, the entire government will be shut down until further notice," Ben announced. Leslie's mouth dropped open and Ron's smile was so big that it threatened to split his face. Ben was afraid that the blond would faint upon hearing the news but to his surprise she handled it professionally. There were no tears or tantrums; instead, Leslie asked practical questions about the status of her department and what she had to do to prepare for the shut down. It was surprising, but he respected her for her level of control.

They met with two more departments before they called it a day. Chris had been pleased but Ben was troubled and found himself standing in front of the Parks and Recreation department. He had no idea why. He had delivered the same horrible news to dozens of other departments; why did he feel the need to check in on Leslie? Ben ignored the unanswered questions and walked towards her office. He knocked on the door twice and when Leslie noticed him, she gestured for him to enter.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely as soon he entered the office. Ben knew that the words weren't enough to make it better, hell somehow it made everything slightly worse, but Leslie smiled anyway.

"Thanks," she replied in a small voice. She seemed lost, almost scared, and tiny. It didn't suit her. He was used to her abrasive personality and strong opinions, but all that stood before him was a defeated version. Ben couldn't help but pity her because he knew how seriously she took her job and he had seen the pain on her face when he told her about the shutdown. This was why he had visited her; no one else's heart had broken at the news.

"Leslie, I was gonna go grab a beer. Want to join?"

**Okay, not too much happens, but it lays the groundwork for the rest of the story. For those who don't know, Frank Capra was an American filmmaker who was well known for his idealistic and uplifting movies, such as "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington", "It's a Wonderful Life", and "It Happened One Night". Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	3. Alcohol and Breakfast Food

**Author's Note: Oh man, this chapter was rough. It has been SO LONG since I've updated; I'm really, really sorry! I never meant for the gap between updates to be this big. I kept changing this chapter because I didn't like it at all and then I dislocated my shoulder and couldn't type…it's been a mess. Thanks for your patience! I won't abandon this story, but updates may take a while. There's some adult language in this chapter. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Parks and Recreation in any way; I'm just a simple fan**

Chapter Three: Alcohol and Breakfast Food

As soon as the words left his mouth, Ben regretted them. He didn't DO this. He never socialized or made friends with any of the people in the towns he visited. It kept everything neat and simple, the way he liked it. After all, there was no point in forming friendships when you were gone within a couple weeks. In a short time he would leave Pawnee without a second thought and the town name and quirks would gently fade away. Why should this place be any different?

"Oh! Uh, sure," she replied, seemingly surprised by his proposal. Leslie smiled at him, wide and bright, and Ben felt his stomach drop. This was such a bad idea. He stood awkwardly in front of her, unsure of what to say, while Leslie watched him curiously.

Ben cleared his throat. "So… any recommendations?"

"I know the perfect place!" she said happily. "I just have to make a call, is that okay? My daughter is spending the night with my mom and I want to say goodnight to her. "

"You have a kid?" Surprise surged through him but then he remembered the gold band on her finger. Of course she had a family; he felt foolish for not even considering the possibility. His gaze darted around the office to look for evidence. Leslie's office had numerous knickknacks and photos around the room, but his eyes finally settled on a photo on a cabinet behind her desk. It featured three people, all smiling happily at the camera. Leslie was standing next to a tall, red haired man while a little girl with blonde hair nestled between them. They looked the typical American family.

Leslie noticed him looking at the photo and beamed. "Yeah, her name is Emily," she said. "She's six years old and the cutest girl in the entire world." Ben idly wondered why the little girl wasn't at home with her father, but he didn't ask. It seemed rude.

Leslie dialed a number on her cell and chatted for a couple of minutes with her family. Ben stood by the doorway and quietly waited for her. He seriously considered calling the whole thing off; something must be wrong with him. He had spent so much time avoiding her and now he was inviting her out for a drink? But before he had the nerve to cancel, Leslie ended her conversation and they headed out of the office.

One drink and that would be it. Ben would have a single beer, discuss light pleasantries, and then return to his hotel room. It wasn't a big deal.

XxXx

"Is this a gay bar?" Ben supposed it was a stupid question. There was a huge picture of a half dressed, muscular cowboy that was slightly pornographic and the entire place was decorated in rainbow colors and confetti. The dance floor was packed with thrusting bodies and music blared on the stereos. God, it had been so long since Ben had been to a club. Everything pounded against his senses and for a moment he was overwhelmed by the sheer noise.

"It's called 'The Bulge', of course it's a gay bar," Leslie replied loudly. "It's a lot of fun! C'mon, I'm thirsty." The two made their way to the bar and ordered shots from a tall man wearing booty shorts.

"It's on the house," the barkeeper said as he slid the drinks to them. Ben looked curiously at Leslie, who seemed rather proud of herself.

"I married two gay penguins a couple of years ago at Pawnee zoo. It kind of made me a gay hero."

"Cute," he replied. Ben could picture it perfectly and the thought made him smile. What other town would have a freaking wedding ceremony for penguins? It was so _ridiculous_, so very Pawnee, so….earnest. It was everything that he had long forgotten about.

"Here's to…." Leslie paused and tilted her head in thought. "To alcohol!" Ben cheered and gulped his shot. The alcohol burned as it went down his throat but it felt good. Warmth settled in his stomach and he could feel some tension seep out of his body. Leslie looked like she was relaxing too. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and she seemed more relaxed. They left the bar and wandered around the club, searching for a place to sit. Leslie managed to snag a table and Ben grabbed two more drinks from the bar before he rejoined her.

"I was surprised that you wanted to go out for drinks," Leslie said. Her tone was quizzical and Ben could understand her confusion. He had been thrown off by his actions too.

"It just seemed like you needed it," Ben replied. "It was a rough day." It was such a bullshit answer. He hadn't asked anyone else; he hadn't been worried about any other employee. Ben studied her over the rim of his glass. She was pretty, there was no denying that. But that wasn't the main reason he was intrigued by her. He was interested in…what? Why her?

"Yeah it was," Leslie said in a small voice. She took a large sip of her drink and her eyes remained fixed on the table. He could see the misery returning to her features and he felt a twinge of guilt.

"Anyway," she continued, a forced cheerfulness in her voice, "now that you're gonna be here a while, how do you like Pawnee?"

"Aside from a crazy lady who keeps pestering and sending me food, it's been alright," Ben smirked. Leslie rolled her eyes and poked him in the shoulder.

"I'm not crazy!" she protested. "You're the crazy one, having a job where you make cuts and fire people."

"Somebody has to do it," Ben shrugged.

"I still don't understand it," Leslie said incredulously but he wasn't surprised that it seemed so strange to her. He couldn't imagine the blond as a state auditor; she was far too emotional for his line of work.

"Every time I think about what has to happen, I start feeling sick. I hate that we have to shut down the government," Leslie confessed. "It's…" She struggled for the right words and looked to him as if he had some sort of answer, but of course he didn't. "How long do you think we'll be shut down?"

"It's hard to tell right now, but I would guess a couple of months," he answered. "We have to cut EVERYONE's budget at least thirty percent, which is going to be a nightmare. Plus we need to evaluate all of the employees and see which services can be terminated." Leslie's eyes narrowed and he half expected her to start ranting about the injustice of it all but she merely watched him.

"What?"

"I really thought you enjoyed this but…You hate doing it don't you?" She wondered aloud. Ben didn't respond. That question opened his own Pandora's Box and he was quite determined to leave it alone; it brought up too many things.

"Why are we talking about this?" Leslie asked abruptly. "We came to have fun! From now on, we're gonna stick to drinking and dancing!"

"Leslie…we can't really ignore it."

"Just give me tonight," she pleaded. "Can't we just forget about that and just enjoy ourselves? Isn't that why we came here in the first place?" Ben knew that pretending the shutdown wasn't going to happen was wrong. Giving in to Leslie would only add to her delusions. But he was tired and she was looking at him with her large blue eyes and he had no choice but to comply.

"Alright." The pair disregarded the topic of local politics and instead focused on having fun. They drank until their senses became infused with the booze and everything blurred into a swirl of color and lights. Leslie danced energetically, bobbing her head in tune to the pulsating music, and she seemed completely uninhibited. Ben felt his self-consciousness fade as well. His mind was in a pleasant fog, a combination of liquor and Leslie's presence, and he felt better than he had in years. He couldn't tell how long they danced, but after a while his muscles started to ache and he needed to sit down.

Eventually both Leslie and Ben flopped into their seats.

"This is so fantastic," she exclaimed and Ben nodded in agreement. Damn, when was the last time he had let loose like that? He ran his hands through his hair and he guessed that he looked like a mess. Leslie, on the other hand, was gorgeous. Her hair was a wave of golden curls, her eyes were blazing, and there was a light sheen of sweat on her skin from dancing.

"Hey, do you want to get out of here?" Leslie asked. "I'm dying for some food and I want to grab something to eat!" Ben said yes without a second thought.

_XxXx_

They stumbled into J.J's Diner. The waitress took one look at their dazed expressions and rumpled clothes and rightly assumed that they were drunk, silly, and in need of greasy food. She quickly led them to a table, eager to get rid of them as soon as possible, and grudgingly gave them menus.

Leslie didn't even look through hers. "I know what I want," she announced. Ben browsed through the menu but frowned.

"They don't have calzones," he said mournfully.

"Why on earth would you want a calzone? They're just the stupider versions of pizza!" Leslie replied. He glared at her, obviously outraged by her insult, but she merely giggled.

"Just because you don't understand the brilliance of calzones doesn't mean that you get to mock them."

"That's exactly what it means," she joked. "But really…calzones? I expected better, Wyatt." Ben started to answer her but their waitress interrupted them and asked for their orders. Leslie got waffles with whipped cream and Ben got pancakes. They made small talk while they waited for their food, their conversation slightly silly and nonsensical, and it was fun. He genuinely liked talking with Leslie. Even when she was being a complete pain in the ass, she was always interesting. There were no awkward pauses or struggles for topics. The conversation flowed naturally and before long the waitress brought out their orders.

"There's something about diner food that is just so good," Leslie moaned appreciatively. Ben nodded and took a large bite of his pancakes. They were fluffy and sweet and the perfect food to soak up the alcohol. He glanced at his watch and nearly jumped when he saw that it was four o'clock in the morning. When he had suggested going out, he did NOT plan on staying out all night. When Ben told Leslie the time, she seemed as surprised as he was.

"Wow, it really didn't feel that late," she said.

"Is it okay that you're still out? Your husband must be worried. Do you need to make a call?" Leslie stilled and kept her eyes on the table. It reminded Ben of a skittish animal, afraid to make any sudden movements.

"My husband died two years ago." Her voice wavered slightly but otherwise she remained composed. Ben stared at her, mouth open in shock, and racked his mind for an appropriate response. He had not seen that coming. Between the ring and the photos she kept in her office, he had assumed that she was happily married. His face burned in embarrassment and he felt like jackass. They ate in silence for a while and skillfully avoided looking at each other.

"I'm sorry," he eventually muttered. What else do you say to a widow?

Leslie shot him an apologetic smile. "You didn't know." The light, fun atmosphere was gone and Ben could practically feel the tension between them.

"What was his name?"

"Dave," Leslie answered. She fiddled with her fork and poked at her waffles. "He was a cop. Dave was...sweet. Unbelievably sweet, actually." A smile flittered across her face and Ben could tell that she was remembering something. "He would wake me up every morning with coffee smothered with whipped cream and the newspaper. Dave just did little things that meant so much…Emily had him wrapped around her finger from day one. They used to-" Leslie broke off and started to cry quietly.

Ben sat across from her, as stiff as a marble statue, and stared at her in horror. Calming down women had never been his forte; he had no idea how to make her feel better. Their waitress watched them from the corner of the restaurant, obviously unsure if she should approach them, and Ben silently hoped that she would come over. He pushed his napkin toward her and coughed uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on like that," she said and hastily wiped her eyes with the offered napkin.

"It's okay," Ben assured her. His hand twitched and for a moment he wanted to grasp her hand in his, but he shook the thought away. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to make you sad."

"It's not you, trust me. It's just been a while since I've talked about him," Leslie said softly. "Emily and I talk about him, of course, but it's different to bring him up to other people."

"You can talk about him," he offered. "If you want to, I mean." Leslie was reluctant at first but then began to describe him little by little as they ate, as if each fact was a treasured gem. Ben listened to each tidbit until he felt like he knew Dave.

"I'm sorry for going on like that!" Leslie apologized halfway through their meal. "What about your family? I've been talking nonstop about Dave and Emily, but I haven't heard anything about you."

"Not much to tell," Ben said casually. "My mom and Dad are married and live in Partridge, Minnesota. I have a younger sister named Megan who is a dental assistant. We're pretty boring." He didn't mention his brother Geoffrey; Leslie didn't need to know about him.

She watched him expectantly for a couple of minutes and then groaned in frustration. "What? That's it? C'mon, I've been spilling my guts here! Don't I get anything else?"

Ben shifted uncomfortably and shrugged his shoulders.

"There's not much to tell." Leslie shot him a suspicious glance but didn't press anymore, which he was thankful for. They talked for a little while longer and then finished their meals.

Ben put his coat on and was about to pay his bill when realization suddenly flooded him. The food and conversation had helped sober him up and he could finally focus. His mind was sharper and it became clear that he had crossed a _very _important line.

Ben had gotten to know Leslie Knope. Not just the superficial facts that made his job easier; no, he had delved deeper than that. He now knew what she looked like when she was drunk and that she was addicted to waffles. Little things that made it impossible for Ben to separate the Deputy Director of Parks and Recreation from the beautiful widow.

"Ready to go?" Leslie's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Sure," he muttered, his head throbbing in confusion and frustration.

Ben was a fucking idiot.

**I know the story is a bit of a slow burn, but please bear with me. There is an endgame in mind. It may take a while, but I swear I won't abandon this story! Please be patient :) Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**Shout outs: **

**-Dixiechicksfan: Thanks, I'm really glad you like it! Thanks for reviewing!**

**-Carla: Intriguing is good, I hope you continue to like it! This story is definitely going to get more AU as it goes on. Thanks for reviewing!**

**-Guest (1/7): Sorry for the wait between updates. Thanks for reviewing!**

**-Guest (1/9): Aw thank you! It's always nice to hear that I've done alright with characterizations! Thanks for reviewing!**


	4. Phone Call

**Author's Note: OKAY I'M REALLY SORRY! I mean that sincerely. I can't believe it's been so long since I've updated this! For the record, I did have this chapter basically done a while ago. But as I read through it I didn't like it so I had to rewrite it. I'm still not sure if I like it but I think its okay. I wanted to update and I swear I will not abandon this story! I have a basic idea of where I want this story to go. Updates may be slow, but I will keep up with it! Just a warning, there is some language in this chapter and mentions of serious issues. Constructive criticism is appreciated but please no flames.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Parks and Recreation in any way; I'm just a simple fan. **

Chapter Four: Phone Call

Ben awoke suddenly, his skin clammy and heart racing, and he felt sick. Vague memories of the previous night swirled in his mind, mixing with the horrific dreams that woke him up, and he inhaled sharply. The room was swaying, tossing and turning, his head was being ripped apart, and his nausea increased. Ben's stomach churned violently and he could taste the sourness of bile in his mouth. He staggered into the bathroom, stood over the toilet, and heaved. Nothing came up.

"Ugh…" He slumped onto the floor and pressed his face onto the cool tiles. It felt soothing and it made his stomach settle.

Fragments of his dreams flashed before his eyes and a cold feeling settled in Ben's chest. He thought he had this under control. Jesus Christ… It had been months since Ben had last dreamed of Geoff. Why now? Why did he have to remember it at all? He wasn't a kid any more. Couldn't he just handle this, move on, and then never look back?

His stomach heaved, twisting painfully, and he leaned over the toilet again. This time he threw up, spilling the entire content of his stomach, and when he was done Ben flopped back onto the floor. His mouth tasted bitter, his head was pounding, and he felt disgusting. For a moment he idly wondered if Leslie was as sick as he was.

Eventually Ben felt strong enough to head back to the bedroom. He tried to fall back asleep but he couldn't. Every time he felt himself drift he glimpsed his brother's carefree face and tension seeped into his body. His skin crawled and he needed…something. For a moment Ben thought of his mother, her warm and comforting words, but he shook the thought away. He couldn't tell her about Geoff. She would be alarmed beyond words and god forbid he try to talk to his dad.

But the need to talk to someone was clawing at his insides and he found himself searching for his phone. The instant he found it, he dialed his sister's number.

"Ben..? What the hell? Do you know that it's four in the morning?" Megan's voice was raspy from sleep. He felt guilty for waking her up and he considered quickly hanging up. But Ben couldn't do that do her.

"I dreamed about Geoff." He heard a sharp gasp and fabric rustling from movement. He figured she was getting out of bed or something.

"How are you doing?" Her tone was concerned; she probably thought he was having a breakdown or something.

"I…" Now that he had called her, Ben didn't even know what to say. The words died in his throat and he struggled on some sort of explanation. He finally settled on, "It was just surprising." It sounded lame to his ears and he immediately regretted calling. Ben was a goddamn idiot.

"Never mind, I'm really sorry Meg. I'm okay; I'll let you get back to sleep. I've been drinking and….anyway, it's not a big deal. Sorry!"

"Shut up," she grumbled. "You always do that! It's alright if you need to talk." Maybe she was right. Nothing bad would happen; it wouldn't be the end of the world to talk about Geoff. He had been the one to call her, after all, and a small voice urged him on. But then his chest tightened in panic and he knew deep down that if he opened those gates, they would never close.

Those years of silence had not diminished his fear.

"So you dreamt of him?" Her voice was timid and childlike.

"Yeah."

"What happened in the dream?"

"It was actually a memory from when Geoff first got his license," Ben recalled. "We went out for burgers and just drove around aimlessly for hours." His brother had been so proud of himself, huge grin plastered on his face, and he had bragged the entire time about his car. In truth, the car had been a piece of junk that was barely held together. But Geoff had loved it and to a ten year old Ben it had been gorgeous. He had laughed so hard that afternoon. They hadn't talked about anything important, not really, but it had been fun.

"He was so stupid," Megan said. "He would work on that car for hours and it would still break down every other mile." She chuckled quietly but Ben couldn't laugh. That fun memory was now spoiled, dirty and horrific, and he could barely stand to think of it now.

"Sometimes it's hard to believe he's dead," she whispered so softly that he almost missed it. "It's been years but…there are times when I literally expect him to walk through the door. Or other times I imagine what his reaction would be to news or a joke and I can see him _so _clearly."

"Me too," Ben said. Geoff forever flickered in and out of his life, a mere shadow, and he didn't know if it was a good or bad thing. "So, are you going home for the anniversary?"

"Yeah, but Adam has to stay here in L.A. because of work." Adam was an EMT and Megan's boyfriend of two years. Ben had met him a couple of times; he was a nice guy.

"Mom was upset that I couldn't make it. I have to stay in this town called Pawnee," he said.

"She'll be okay," she assured him but Ben was doubtful. His mother was emotionally frail at the best of times and he knew that this year would be especially trying if he wasn't there to support her. He knew that he should feel guilty about letting her down, but truth be told, it was a relief. Ben wouldn't have to shoulder her grief.

"Dad, on the other hand, will be a menace. He always snaps this time of year and he'll be especially angry that you tossed the family aside for your job," Megan said.

"It's not my fault!"

"I know that but you know Dad doesn't think rationally when it's the anniversary of Geoff's death. He's never been able to handle it so he either lashes out or completely shuts down. It's something you guys share, by the way."

"Megan…" Ben warned. The dream of Geoff had been upsetting enough; he couldn't handle this conversation now.

"What?"

"Don't."

"What the fuck is the matter with you and Dad?" Megan yelled angrily. "Every single time I try! You never talk! You never want to talk about it!"

"I-"

"It has been years! I know that it hurts, that no matter what happens we will still miss him, but fucking hell! Why can't either of you handle this?"

"Shut. Up." Ben said coldly, punctuating each word. "You will never understand." His head was pounding in anger, sickness, and pure contempt for his younger sister, the little girl who was spared, and in that instant he hated her.

She never had to…She never came home to his bloody corpse, never had to stare in horror at the cuts on the wrists, never had feel his cold skin. She had been spared of that horror.

"Sorry for calling," he spat. "Good night."

"Ben, I-" But he had hung up before she could finish her sentence and flung the cell phone across the room. Megan instantly called him back but he ignored it. He lay on the bed and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. God he was drained.

Queasiness still bit at the back of his throat but Ben stubbornly forced it down. He flipped on the television, desperate for some distraction, and mindlessly watched some sitcom.

He wouldn't be getting any sleep.

XxXx

"Wow, you look as bad as I feel." Leslie said the instant she saw him. Ben was waiting in the main conference room for their first task force meeting. He knew he looked terrible; bloodshot eyes, disheveled hair, and rumpled clothes. Leslie, on the other hand, looked fine. She looked tired, but other than that, one would never guess that she had been out drinking the night before.

Ben glared half heartedly at the blond, who smiled and handed him a Styrofoam container. He opened it up warily and the sweet aroma of waffles surrounded him.

"How much money do you spend on waffles?" he wondered aloud.

"Well…really, can one spend too much money on waffles?" She replied. Ben hesitated before he ripped off a small piece of the waffle and popped it into his mouth.

It was delicious, warm and sweet, and he closed his eyes in contentment. When he looked up, Leslie was looking at him in satisfaction.

"I think that's the first time you actually ate something I gave you," she remarked casually but he could tell that she was secretly thrilled. Ben rolled his eyes and took another bite.

"I blame the hangover," he said stubbornly and she laughed. It was a full, deep laugh, and it was a nice sound. Ben continued to eagerly eat J.J's infamous waffles while Leslie chatted off and on.

"I shouldn't have thrown out those other waffles," Ben announced when he was done. "They're probably the best I've ever eaten."

"I told you!" she giggled. "Ugh, it's been so long since I got drunk. I honestly thought my head was going to split open this morning; thank god Emily was with my mom today."

"My head was killing me too," Ben agreed. "But it was worth it. I actually had a lot of fun last night." It was true; he couldn't remember the last time he had simply let go and enjoyed himself like that.

They sat there in comfortable silence and waited for the other members of the budget committee.

"So how bad is this going to be?" Leslie asked. Ben glanced at her. Her features were stiff, her hands were clenched, and her eyes were hard. It was a stark contrast to the pretty woman who had just been laughing.

"You're not going to like it," he joked casually but she shook her head.

"I'm being serious Ben."

"It'll be rough," he finally admitted. "You're going to protest every suggestion and I'm going to shoot you down. We'll probably argue every couple of minutes and by the end of the day you'll want to punch me."

"Thanks for the warning," Leslie said simply and she smiled broadly at him.

"You're welcome," Ben replied awkwardly. He wanted to continue the conversation but he noticed that people began to trickle into the room and he was suddenly uncomfortable. He hadn't realized how at ease he was around Leslie.

Chris entered the room and instantly headed towards Ben as soon as he saw him.

"Good morning," the other man greeted brightly. "This is a fine day to embark on our mission! Everyone seems to be in good spirits!" Ben glanced at the other people, whose faces were pale and drained, but he didn't comment. Chris had the uncanny ability to ignore reality.

"Uh huh," he said noncommittally. "Now that you're here, do you want to get the meeting started?"

"I believe everyone is here and settled in," Chris said. "So now is _literally _the perfect time to begin!" He grinned and headed towards the front of the room. Ben followed his lead and stood beside him.

"Hello everybody! As you all know, my name is Chris Traeger and this is my partner Ben Wyatt. I am so pleased to have such an amazing group of people assembled to accomplish this goal," Chris gushed loudly. "I know that we will find the solution! Just remember to stay positive and together we can do anything! You're doing a great job!" Blank stares met the Chris' enthusiastic smile.

Ben coughed and took over the meeting. "The goal of this budget committee is to establish and implement necessary and realistic budget cuts. I know that it may be tough but we'll get through it. I have packets which explain the current financial situation and our financial goals." He paused and his eyes searched the crowd. Ben found Leslie's gaze and for some reason his mouth went dry.

"So let's get started."

**Is Ben overly angsty in this? I didn't realize so much of this chapter would be a phone conversation, but I think it works. My version of Ben's family is VERY different than the one in the show. I have a specific back story in my mind (some of which WILL include canon/canon aspects), so my characters may behave differently than in the show. Also, I'm sorry if this was boring with all the conversations. Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**Shout outs: **

**-Guest: I'm glad you like the twist! I hope you continue to like where this is heading :) Thanks for reviewing!**


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